Monday, October 4, 2010
Anyway, an update from the Kid-fisto and Luminarah love story, Luminarah has finally fallen for Kid-fisto! Let me explain: I suggested to him that we try a new strategy and buy Luminarah candy. I suggested those new chocolate covered peanuts (I love those!) but he seemed strangely unenthused and didn't want to follow my suggestion. He said that I had been enough trouble already. Imagine that! I do all I can to help him and doesn't appreciate it! Anyway, we sent her the peanuts with a note that said from Kid-fisto and I let it be to see what happened. The next day, I asked Kid and he said that they were dating now! I said, "Must have been those peanuts! The best way to win a girl's heart is candy!"
He said that actually, she was allergic to peanuts and at one whiff from the bag, had started sneezing and whatnot. But she had felt so sorry for Kid-fisto, who being a simple guy, had fallen prey to the clutches of Anikin Skywriter and had come into mishap after mishap. (Those were her words, not mine...) It seems she did some investigating and found out from Ki Adi Mundee who was doing all this for Kid-fisto. I don't think counseling is my thing...
Anyway, now onto the really good news! Lea and Hon are having a BABY! I shall have a grandson before long! well, a little longer than not very long... But still, he's on his way! I asked them what they would name him and they said that even if they knew, it would still be a secret until his birth. (I hate it when people do that...) I suggested that they name him a J name. You know... PJ (Padmae Junior) or if it's a guy, AJ (Anikin Junior.) I don't know if they liked those ideas very much though.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Darth Hideous, his uncle who owns that movie production company, came up with some disgusting poetry and they sent her some flowers under Kid-fisto's name. The poetry went like this, "I think you are awesome, I hope our love will blossom."
Bleah. They couldn't do better than that? Anyway, that was another bouquet that went into the trash...
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
That bit of beautiful poetry was my doing. Maybe I should become a poet!
Kid-Fisto wasn't too excited about it, but I told him that the poetry would just hit the spot! I didn't know how much...I saw Luminarah throw them in the garbage later and mumble something like, "It must be a prank." Women do react strangely to charm sometimes...
Monday, September 6, 2010
As you know, Kid-Fisto has a crush on Luminarah. Well, Ki-Adi-Mundee has decided that it is a hopeless case. (One of the things Mr. Lucas goofed on in making the movies was that Jeddi are not forbidden to marry, they are just not encouraged to as it normally doesn't work out. Jeddi tend to be workaholics.) Ki-Adi-Mundee gave up Kid because Luminarah is a serious Jeddi with no intention of living the rest of her life with a man...especially if he is Kid-Fisto; the poor guy isn't overly bright.
Anyway, a person with my charm has this kinda thing down. I have now taken the job of counseling him. Wish me luck!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Okay...let me elaborate. The whole crew of us guys started a little late because Obi-Won suggested that we go to Jeddi Mart before we started. He said that he forgot his umbrella and the girls would look pretty silly if a hurricane came through while we were there and they didn't have umbrellas!
I didn't mention that umbrellas wouldn't be a very sturdy protection against hurricanes, so we humored him. Then, we got started. Everything was going dandy until we got to this fork in the road. (Don't make a joke about picking it up...Master Quigone wore that one out...)
Hon had Wendoogled it and he said that we should take a left. I said that that was impossible because my GPS said we needed to go right! He was adamant, but I, being the driver, made the executive decision and went right.
Of course, we got lost. I kept trying to follow my GPS but I think the poor deary was lost! She had no idea where she was going! (I think I may need to get that thing repaired!) Anyway, I kept saying we should have taken a left and I kept retorting sarcastic things in return. Then Master Obi-Won called out, "Dinner time!"
We went through the drive thru of a McDukoo's (don't tell Wendu) and continued to drive.
Hon asked if I would give him a try at driving. I asked if he thought he knew more than a seasoned Jeddi. He said, "Just gimme the wheel!" So while we were switching places Chewy spilled his Diet Jawa Juice because of Hon climbing over him. (Don't tell Wendu that either. These are the Jeddi buses. I'll have to get it steam cleaned.)
We drove and drove around and then we finally decided to go back to the fork and start by going left.
It looked like we were going the right way when Obi-Won noticed that we were passing the McDukoo's we had stopped at before. He called out, "Breakfast time everybody!" (I think the owner of that franchise was delighted at the influx of business!) We ordered Chewy water this time.
We got back on the road and finally arrived at the beach at 10:00 AM. I had to rest for a couple of days. I thought vacations were supposed to be restful! But thanks to Master Quigone's jokes about forks, my bad GPS, Hon for a navigator, Obi-Won with a constantly increasing appetite, and a Wookee with bad hands, I have had a very eventful "vacation" already! The moral of the story is: never carpool with this many people...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
But, as plans so often have the tendency of doing, these changed. Obi-Won overheard where we were going and it turned out that he had rented a beach house for this next week too! So he asked if he could shippool with us too. I conceded but continued to calculate the increasing lack of room in our ships. Master Quigone wants to come too because he has a timeshare at this beach. He said, "What in this galaxy could be more fun than spending a whole week at the beach with this many people?"
I don't consider myself a person possessing a large amount of intellect, but I believe I could think of a couple more fun ways to spend a week. But there was no turning back now.
Now the grand total of people coming to the beach with us is Asoka, Padmae, Lea, Luminara, Luke, Master Obi-Won, Master Quigone, Chewy, Hon, Kid-fisto (when he heard that Luminara was coming) Wedgie, and Me. Because of the vast volume of people, we had to use the Jeddi buses. The fun thing is that the guys are going in one van together and the girls in another. Now, I'm no genius, but knowing girls, I think they will probably get there a couple of months before us...
Thursday, August 26, 2010
We are going to the beach. FUN FUN FUN! My GPS is causing trouble, but I think I will be able to get it working by then.
I apologize for the lack of posts for 2 months! I have now started again!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I found out that Master Yoduh and Master Wendu are currently arguing about the former's need to be in a nursing home....in several centuries or so. Master Yoduh's conviction is that he will be just as spry at 1300 years old as he is at 300. I will see how this one pans out.
I also found that Kid Fisto has a crush on Luminaura. Master Ki-Adi-Mundee is counseling him. It appears that perhaps we may soon have another Jeddi to blaze the trail of mixing matrimony and the ways of a jeddi. Again, I will elaborate as I learn more.
One more thing that I found out is that Master Obi-Won is fixing up a deal with a Miracle Hair Grow company to help them with their advertising campaign. As his hair is falling out, they figured he would be perfect. Jeddi are not supposed to have attachment, but Master Obi is rather attached to his hair. He figures this would be a great way to get some free Miracle Hair Grow (which happens to cost an arm and a leg at retail price.)
I didn't know I would find such a wealth of entertainment just from taking the boring job of watching the security cameras. This is fun!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
It appears that Siri put some people to work so that while we were all gone, things would get done around the Jeddi temple. First of all, she scheduled the installation of security cameras because recently, books have been getting stolen from the Jeddi library. I just think that installing voice recorders on them was a little much. She also hired people to install a new gaming system in the recreation room. You won't be finding me complaining about that! Anyway, things never get boring around here!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
It appears that fish of all varieties have a deep liking for donuts. Unfortunately, the bigger ones happen to get to any major attraction first. We had a fish the size of master Yoduh in the boat with us within 30 seconds! He had about 60 teeth I could shave with and the meanest eyes this side of Hades!
He was so big and for those who don't know, you can ONLY have 3 people in a canoe or else it will topple over. And topple it did!
Master Wendu was in shock and was especially afraid because he has aquaphobia and (apparently) a phobia of large fish. Master Ki-Adi-Mundee's canoe with Plo-Koon and Master Obi-Won in it came over and helped us get our canoe situated properly.
I think that something nibbled me down there because my toes have teeth marks. Anyway, that is the last time I spend a perfectly good Thursday on the lake!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
We began to be hungry yesterday after the picnic basket that Master Obi-Won found emptied. So we collected bugs of every variety available. Master Wendu would have pulled out his hair if he had had any (hmm...that could be the reason he's bald) because he has been trying to get us to be "tough stuff" or rather, "outdoor's guys." We can claim that title if we are chicken of hunting. Anyway, the only variety of bug we could find was the beetle. A little crunchy, but they have a nice, salty flavor when roasted...very akin to chicken, I think.
Friday is the last day of our camping trip. Tomorrow we will take a fishing trip. I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about this...
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Master Obi-Won found an abandoned picnic basket and we all ate hearty for breakfast! The fried chicken was a little stale but nevertheless, it tasted better than any wild turkey or mongoose we could have killed. Unfortunately, I had more of the picnic delicacies than anyone else and I had a hard time climbing up the wall. Master Ki-Adi-Mundee helped me out and then we moved on to the rope. Everyone made it across except me. My weight caught up with my muscles about half-way across and I kerplunked in the middle of the lake. It wouldn't have been so bad if the snapping turtles in that area weren't so aggressive!
Then we moved on to a race Master Wendu had set up. It appears this is what took him so long yesterday. He made these traps that could fit a whole man and then covered them up with a thin layer of sticks and leaves. All the other Jeddi went so fast that when they got to the traps, they went right over them. Master Wendu wasn't disappointed, however. Mr. Fried-Chicken-Belly fell into about half of them. 2 hours later, when I got past the obstacle (and the rest of the Jeddi council had a good laugh) we moved on to the final test: standing on a ledge over the lake and having a Jeddi council member catch you. This was the true test of trust in other members of the council. We would be pushed off the edge by Master Wendu and then someone would catch us. Everybody was caught and saved from a wet landing. I, however, wasn't so lucky. Master Wendu pushed me off, I landed into Plo-Koon's arms and he was embraced heartily by the cold waters of the lake. Apparently, picnic food isn't the lightest stuff in the world.
I don't know what we will do today, but I hope it will be a little less...tiring..........
BTW: Some may be wondering how I can write posts when I wasn't allowed to bring any electronics on this trip. Well, I smuggled a cell phone into my backpack. Master Wendu found it yesterday, but I told him that I only use it for posts. He didn't seem to mind.......
Friday, June 18, 2010
Finally we got hungry so we rummaged in everyone's backpacks to see if anyone else had brought a backup pizza or something. No one had. So we roasted and at the acorns that we used for our game.
Today promises to be more exciting. I just don't know how much.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Siri was told to bring the tents. Obi Won was in charge of the fire making tools. Yoduh was in charge of bringing flashlights for everyone. We didn't need weapons because (as I remember mentioning more than 8 times) every Jeddi with a brain the size of a lima bean or bigger is sure to bring his lightsaber everywhere.
I was in charge of bringing food for the first day. After that, we would catch and kill every thing we needed. We'll see how that works!
I brought Twinkies. I think they are very nutritious and give one that necessary energy boost that will enable us to complete this survival trip. For some reason, everybody complained about being hungry and I suspect that after I went to sleep, someone went out and killed a couple of wild pizzas or something. Why? Well, because the next morning I found pizza boxes under Ki-Adi-Mundee's sleeping bag.
----------------- 30 Minutes Later -------------------
This is hilarious! Well....it was at first. Master Wendu just found out he forgot his lightsaber! Remember what I said yesterday? Well, I reminded everyone of this and we all had a good laugh. But I think I laughed too hard because Master Wendu made me clean the dishes tonight. Rats.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Anyway, Master Wendu came up with a great plan yesterday. He said that he had been noticing some rifts between Jeddi as of late (no, really?) and told us he wanted us to do something. He said that he had been visiting Lights Out Electrics the other day complaining about a bill he received. After he worked it out with the associate, he chatted a little and found that they were going on a office trip this weekend. They were going to camp out in the woods and their boss was going to make an obstacle course for them to go through. They would need to work together to get past it and it was going to build a little office support. He said that we should do that.
Hmm...I wonder how this will turn out.
Hey! Did you notice I changed my theme for the first time since I started my blog? Tell me what you think by commenting on this post or writing me a post on facebook!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Anyway, it's obvious that I was fired. Now I am going to have a meeting with the Jeddi council (probably to get a good lecture.)
Friday, May 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Anyway, Padmae's not so excited. She thinks the job will be dangerous. I disagree. I mean, what could happen?
Friday, May 21, 2010
"Grant Smorckthrust. CEO of Lightsabers 'R Us training videos."
I said, "Anikin Skywriter. Professional lightsaber fighter and Jeddi knight."
I probably shouldn't have said that. He smiled the type of smile that said that he was trying to contain an outburst of laughter and said, "We apologize for you getting knocked out. We had to use you for a training video."
I must have looked perplexed because he said, "We worked out a deal with your son. We told him that we hadn't made a video on what NOT to do during an attack from bandits. So, we are paying him a little extra for this special help. He acted the unprofessional armored truck driver; doing all the things you shouldn't do in a situation like this. First of all, he let his backup gunner go on a break, so he was by himself. Second, he got nervous. And finally, he called an untrained civilian to protect him."
I was appalled! My own son had used me for a video all for a little extra pay! Untrained indeed! I glared at him and I have to admit he looked a little sheepish... This only reminds me that I may need to ban him from MY Xbox for a whole month or something.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I think we will be doing a couple more classes. But the big play is done!
Anyway, the Jeddi have had a change of plans. They got me a disguise and I am going to work under cover at McDukoo's. Maybe I should sabotage the burger bins or something. I just wish this fake beard didn't make me itch so much...
Monday, May 17, 2010
Anyway, Master Obi-Won decided that I need to learn social skills. So he talked with Padmae and they decided together that I need to work at a fast food restaurant. So they got a position for me at Jeddi Mart Food Court. Needless to say, I'm not enthused.
Monday, May 3, 2010
If you don't read a post for two weeks, you will know why. Please keep checking because I may be able to write some on the weekends...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Anyway, THEATRE & DRAMA was...........interesting last night. Ms. Glopinshorfindal decided that we are to perform Romeo and Juliet and that all the proceeds from the play will go to helping save the poor oppressed and endangered Whistling Spider. I didn't even know there was a whistling spider!
Anyway, back to the point. She wants my handsome self to be Romeo. She asked who could be Tybalt. She was stuck because I'm a really good sword fighter and she didn't want me to lop the head off of any of her class members. (Thankfully, my arm is better.) So, she asked if I knew any good sword fighters. I said that I did. I gave her master Yoduh's phone number and email address. I hope he doesn't get mad at me for signing him up for THEATRE & DRAMA!
Another thing I'm nervous about is Padmae. You know that Romeo falls in love with Juliet. Well, Juliet is going to be played by a female alien. I know she's an alien, but Padmae is a little jealous of me and she wouldn't be happy regardless. I hope I don't get in too much trouble.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Anyway, now I'm in hot water. Hon is after me with a death look and all his poker buddies from the Dorky Clown Bar are joining him in his search. On top of that, the Jeddi think it was Hon's fault we lost the battle so they are blaming me! I think I will remove to my mother's house until this blows over (or at least until the end of the weekend.)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Anyway, Hon just got back from his bi-weekly job at the circus. He is learning all kinds of stunts for his clown job. He is really good at the back flips and stuff. Wait! Hmmmm....this gives me an idea......
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
"You had a lot of gall
to gain weight and stop football."
"You'd better beware
when you don't play fair."
or (my favorite)
"Your fat will make chances slim
of ever eating chocolate again."
Anyway, we all know who's sending them -- and I have an idea that darth Sideous's uncle (Darth Hideous) is writing them...I mean, did you see that bad rhyming? But the icing on the cake was applied when yesterday we received a letter with "Darth Sideous, 18 Dark Side Way, Upper floor, Death Star 33986" on the return address label. It contained a short and peppy note. It read as the following:
Dear Jeddi Council (and any other interested parties),
We are going to surprise attack you on Wednesday, April 15th 2010. You'd better be ready.
Since this is a manly brawl and not a childish "to-the-death" fight (and on account of the fact that we don't want to lose any Sithes) we will fight with taser swords. Be ready.
We sent a letter back that asked if perhaps Padmae could fight them...since she was the one who stopped the football team. We didn't receive a reply. I think they were pretty sure that Padmae would cream them all. So we are fighting the Sithes. I mean, REALLY fighting them. Not just playing football against them. We have posted Jeddi at all the entrances and have armed every person (even the janitor) with a lightsaber (er....taser sword...). This will be fun!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Last night I didn't learn too much about THEATRE & DRAMA, but I did learn that if you want to keep your instructors happy with you, you shouldn't break anything too early on in the class.
Monday, April 12, 2010
I figure I'm pretty safe with Clegg. I'll probably buy him a paint job for his wheelchair or a new tie or something....
But I have to pick whatever I buy soon because I have to send it by parcel post. (Padmae will pay whatever is necessary for a present, but she refuses to pay the (in her words) "ungodly shipping prices of today.")
Saturday is also Hon's second appearance as a clown. I don't think I will go this time taking into consideration what happened last time...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Anyway, when I got back, Padmae wouldn't let me in. She called through the window that if I ever wanted to get back inside, she suggested that I lose some calories. She also mentioned that this was the end of our football team.
So I have been eating at Frank's Greens Market 3 times a day and running around the neighborhood in my spare time. I would take advantage of the Jeddi temple dorms but I would get stuck in those doors too. They are kinda small. Obi-Won loaned me his laptop today so that I could write a post.
Anyway, the Sithes, the Wookees, the Bounty Hunters, the Gunguns, and the Storm Troopers are mad at us. They halfheartedly attempted a couple of football games in our absence, but, to quote darth Sideous, "It not the same without those #$%^^#+@!$# Jeddi!"
I hope to be able to fit into the door within a couple of days (I can lose weight fast when I want to.)
Master Obi-Won, if you remember, didn't gain more than a couple of pounds and thusly can still fit in the shower. So he has become our new dieting coach. We will begin to lose poundage now.
Ugh. Just to think, this was all the fault of our front door. I should have thought ahead when we were building our house and ordered it a couple of sizes larger!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I though Ms. Glopinshorfindal was going to faint now. Then someone in the back said, "It IIIIIS Anikin! Hey, Ms. Glopinshorfindal, Anikin here can do ballet!"
I looked at the speaker and I couldn't recognize her. Then I remembered! She had been family of one of my ballet classmates at the recital. She had been in the crowd and had come to watch.
The teacher looked very gratified. She called me up front for an example. She said, "THIS is an example of a skill that might be useful in acting."
She thanked us all and everybody left...but me. I had AFTER CLASS DETENTION! Nah...I think she just wanted to congratulate me on being an example for the rest of the class. Unfortunately, I have a feeling I will continue to be "an example" all through the rest of this "THEATRE & DRAMA" class!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Obi-Won decided to switch our seats in the Jeddi temple. All Jeddi sit the same place but each person has tailor made seats to fit their size and dimensions. Master Yoduh has a small one and Master Ki-Adi-Mundee's is really tall. Anyway, we had to get our seats fixed up to fit the new dimensions that we have acquired ever since starting this fattening diet for our football team. Well, Master Obi-Won, strangely, has been staying pretty slim all through this. I have been after him to eat more sweets (as I am the dieting coach) but he won't listen to me. For some reason, against all odds, he is losing weight! Anyway, he switched our seats and then he sat down in my big one. Sure it was probably uncomfortable, but well worth the show I gave the whole Jeddi council when I came in for our daily meeting!
I waltzed in to the room, expecting nothing. Then I sat down in my place. I neglected to notice that master Obi-Won was sitting in a chair that you could have had a ballroom dance on. But then, I was too busy trying to squeeze all my belongings into the chair. I would manage to get the sides of my stomach between the arms, but then my stomach and my eyes would bulge out because of the strain. I tryed for half an hour while the rest of the council watched in bewilderment. Finally, I raised my hand. Master Wendu said politely, "Yes, what is it Anikin?"
I said, "I think there is something wrong with my chair..."
Master Obi-Won had begun snorting half way through Act I and II of my experience and finally at this punchline of mine, he burst into giggles of rapturous joy. I looked at him and for the first time noticed that he was sitting in a chair with A S carved into the side. THAT WAS MY CHAIR! Grrrrrr! I glared at him and he jumped out of that chair like greased lightning. I traded the chairs out and thumped down in mine with a grunt of disapproval. I should be more prepared for these things...
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Oh, btw: Hon and Lea have solved their problem with the wookees by encouraging those three to start a lawn service. They also do tree shredding. The good part is they don't need any equipment for that part. They just do it with their bare hands. And since they only have to pay for push lawn mowers, their prices are low. So I am convinced they will get a lot of business. Anybody want to hire Wookee Landscaping and Lawncare?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
NOW Padmae wants to throw another thing on me! She wants me to take another class. I say ANOTHER because I took a bungee jumping class last year and the year before that I took ballet. Bleah. That wasn't fun!
Anyway, now she wants me to take a class on (get this)............
WHAAAAAA?????? I won't be able to STAND that! All those men wearing tights and those women in dresses with hoop skirts larger than a couch. The dresses, not the women. Sheesh! I'm already having a nervous breakdown. Another thing I'll hate is all the ridiculous make-up I'll have to wear. Hon has it better than me! To be honest, I would rather be a clown...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
After the game, I went straight to the circus. Sure I was stinky and sweaty, but I didn't have time to take a shower! Anyway I put on deodorant before I left.
I brought my camera and was going to get some good pictures of Hon as a clown but I ran into some trouble. See, there was this acrobat who was doing some dangerous stunts dangerously close to where I was sitting.
I yelled up at him, "Hey! Watch what you're doing up there! Do you want to come down on my HEAD?"
I don't think he had noticed me until then and he looked down very surprised. However, he was in the middle of a back flip. He fell with a thump to the dirt below like a bird dropping and then lay there. The whole show was stopped and everybody came to see what was the matter. I got there first and (with my Jeddi sensory techniques) figured out that a leg was broken and that there was something wrong with his face. I soon found out, however, that the answer to the latter part of my investigation was just a scowl on his face and a glare in my direction.
He went to the emergency room and I was hustled to the back of the circus to wait for the manager to have a chance to "speak with me."
The manager asked me what I was doing with a lawn chair in the middle of the ring and why didn't I use those nice bleachers that everybody else was happy with? I told him that my friend was being a clown and I wanted to take a video. He asked why I needed to come down there and do it. I explained that my friend was a CIRCUS clown. Light dawned on his face but he still wasn't happy. He was also amazed that I had managed to get my lawn chair past the people at the door. I explained that I was a Jeddi knight. BIG mistake. That made him all the more mad. So, he made me work on cleaning the circus equipment for the next few days to pay for the hospital bill. Boy did he work me hard! Hon wasn't any help either. He just sat around in MY lawn chair watching me scrub the bars of the lion cage and saying periodically, "Hey! You missed a spot."
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Also happening on Saturday is our football game. We are playing against a team that was professional, but gave it up because the professional league was too easy for them...........and there were no other professional teams in the galaxy. So this team (the Storm Troopers) has joined our unprofessional league and will play us Jeddi this weekend.
Oh, I almost forgot! This really ticks me off. Padmae bought Luke a new ship! She said that he had been so responsible in getting himself a job and paying the repairs for my ship that he deserves a little help. Come on! She's already paying for that boy's college. But...yeah. I admit that I felt a little bad for him myself. So I guess it's best.
Anyway, he's keeping his job as an armored truck driver and is saving up for....I don't know what he's saving up for. I can't believe he's just saving up his money! Don't you have to have a goal in mind or something like that?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
As I said, it went well. Well...all except for the fact that my stepfather wanted to go outside to play football with Luke and me because he had heard about the Jeddi football team. We lost and were humiliated! We expected it to be easier than it was because Clegg uses a wheelchair. However, this time he used his superpowered wheelchair. What made it especially humiliating was the fact that the teams were as follows: Anikin and Luke vs. Clegg and Lea. She felt bad for him and took his side. Two experience Jeddi football pros (okay...not exactly pros) lost to an old man and a GIRL! I'm still nursing my pride and Lea isn't helping by walking around with that satisfied smile. Neither of us will forget this for a while!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Oh...that reminds me: I haven't written a post for the past couple of days because I have been too sore to go to the computer. Why? Well...just because. Oh, you want to hear about our football game? Well............WE WON! We won 13 to 10! Haha! Our diet has paid off!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
The only problem is that those two are in a small apartment during the day with three, ginormous wookees! I feel for my poor daughter!
Oh, BTW: Luke finally paid for the repairs to my ship. He will buy his new one as soon as he can save up for it.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
But, guess what? A traveling circus came to town and he filled out an application. He put down that he wanted to be a ringleader, but since he wore argyle socks, a plaid business suit, and a polka dotted tie, the manager told him he would be perfect for a clown! He didn't want to leave Lea, but the Circus said that they would be in town till June because of all the business they were getting and that he could work with them until they moved out.
You have to understand, ever since 2 years old, Hon has wanted to be a clown. But his personality, shall we say, doesn't fit the part? He's taking a crash course for juggling and has already thrown a couple of hammers into my TV set. I'm about to go to Jeddi Mart to buy a new one and then come back home and try to talk him into learning to juggle balls first...
This will be very entertaining! You can be sure I will buy tickets to every show from here till June! Pass the popcorn!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Oh, by the way: Ki-Adi-Mundee finally has a helmet. Master Obi-Won (who is now the official Head Uniform Manager) went to AskYoduh.com and found a family owned store that sold all sorts of sport helmets for aliens of the Ki-Adi-Mundee species. Their store was called Helmets for Big Heads. When Master Obi-Won told me about his new purchase, he suggested I buy one. Very funny...
Friday, March 5, 2010
Anyway, I have to have the team ready soon, like I say. AND BY SATURDAY!!! We are playing the Smugglers/Bounty Hunters on Saturday (they really should split into two teams or change their name.) So, that being said, any hints or tips would be much appreciated! To bad Drew Brees doesn't read my blog...
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wendu: Dear Council members...and Luke and Briingluy. I don't know if you have noticed but our football team has not been doing as well as we should like. I mean, first of all, the Sithe's beat us 78 to 0 and the Gunguns beat us 41 to 3. (I think the reason we did so well on the last game was because we happened to be organized...) Anyway, I think we need new management. Why? Well because -
Yoduh: [mumbles something unintelligible frowning at the floor]
Wendu: Master Yoduh, if you have something to add please share it with the rest of the cla - er, council.
[Master Yoduh happened to be sitting next to Master Wendu and he whispered something to Master Wendu. Master Wendu looked up and with an embarrassed glance around him, continued.]
Wendu: Uuhhh, right, not that the old management (namely our beloved coach) has not been doing his best. And our Head Uniform Manager (that would be you Anikin) has been doing admirably well considering the - ah, er...obstacles that were in his path. But, what I mean to say is that we need an EXTRA manager. Or rather, a different kind of coach while keeping Master Yoduh as our coordinator for the games. In other words, we need a drastic change in our plans. Master Obi-Won...
Obi-Won: Thank you master Wendu. Well, as you know...
[I didn't know, but then, nobody tells me anything... anyway, back to Master Obi-Won]
...Master Wendu, Master Yoduh and I have been talking a lot lately and what this team needs is a change in our eating habits...
[you don't know how many times he's had this lecture with me, but it was always about me needing to "stop the cookie intake"]
We need to go on a...well, a....
Yoduh: Diet Fattening!
Obi-Won: Yes, thank you Master Yoduh, a fattening diet. That way we can gain the weight we need to be able to win some football games. So we need a Dieting Coach to train us in gaining weight. But, the Dieting Coach needs to be able to train us to retain our muscle while gaining some weight. And, Anikin, the council has elected you...since you tend to be good at gaining weight. I will take over the Head Uniform Manager...Master Yoduh and Master Wendu unanimously voted me in for that [he glared] but I think that over all, this team will begin to improve!
I was in a trance. Could this be really happening to me? Could I really have the wish of my life and actually be allowed and even ENCOURAGED to gain weight? I smiled, but then caught myself. This could be another practical joke. I looked at their faces carefully for a glimmer of a smile. But no, they were SERIOUS. Well, I'm going to have to read up on the muscle building activities...but in the weight gaining arena, I consider myself an experienced ace. Bring on the fudge!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
In football news, the bounty hunters are now accepting team members from the smuggler arena as well. So that means that my son in law, Hon Solo will be part of that team. Oh no! That means that, unless Chewy isn't interested (he just bought a new sports-ship and he washes it every weekend), he will be on their team. I don't know how we will start to win some games this season! We really need a drastic change.......somewhere!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Here are photos explaining our defensive and offensive positions.
Yoduh said that too old he was to play football. Be a coach he would.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Still looking for Master Ki-Adi-Mundee's helmet! Any ideas?
Friday, February 19, 2010
I am also having TONS of issues with master Ki-Adi-Mundee. He's VERY helpful in the uniform area, and very fit. But I can't seem to find a helmet to fit his doubly smart noggin. His head is as tall as two of mine and that's saying a lot! Ugh...all this stress is giving me a headache. I'd better go take a rest before plunging head first into the supermarkets to look for uniform odds and ends.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
and breakbackers...or whatever they are... We are going to hold a council today to decide how to organize our team.
Oh, the Gunguns have gotten a team together too! That makes five teams that will play eachother this season!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
get one together as well as the Clones and the Bounty Hunters. We play the Sithes on Saturday! Wait...today is Saturday...! I have to go and do some stretches. I can tell I'm out of shape. The first practice we had, I ripped my favorite pair of Jeddi pants. I always wear baggy pants to football practice from now on...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I just can't wait. Here's to starting a Jeddi version of "American Football!"
Friday, February 5, 2010
Strangely, this smash with a fire hydrant has done my nerves a world of good. Now that it has happened, I don't feel tense anymore. But, man will I be glad to get that ship SAFELY back in our garage!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Wow! Lucky Luke! I've always wanted to drive one of those! It's the armored truck that they use to deliver lightsabers to different clients. Why do they need an armored truck? It's not because lightsabers are pricey, but because you have to have a "Lightsaber Weilding License" to purchase one and Space Pirates used to periodically raid the Lightsabers 'R Us trucks and get these deadly weapons.
Well, it's good that Luke got this job. It pays well and he should get his new ship in no time! Whew...
Monday, February 1, 2010
I am heartbroken. I sure hope he gets this job and saves for a new ship soon! I am getting nervouser and nervouser. I think my ability to use adverbs is suffering. At least that's what Padmae tells me...
Oh, BTW: Today I have compiled the results for my readers' top five favorite posts for 2009! Just look on the sidebar!
Friday, January 29, 2010
I had no idea YEAST went into lightsabers. But, for my innocence's sake, I didn't ask what else he put in there. There are some things that are just better to leave untold. He has just enough days to start another one and finish it before Monday (which is when he turns his final concoction in.) He'd better not goof again or else I will die of a heart attack and/or overused nerves. Wait! Can you die from overstressed nerves?!?!? SEE?! It's already happening!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Meanwhile, Wedgie's mom had seen us waddling out of the treehouse with fishing poles and empty chip bags. She asked Wedge who those three spherical men were in her back yard? Wedgie said that we were some friends of his that needed a place to hide because Asoka was at their house. She understood (everybody in our neighborhood knows Asoka) but she didn't want any no-good tramps in her yard! Wedgie tried to calmly explain that these three men were respectable Jeddi (at least, two of them were, the other was a smuggler, but he thought that wouldn't be a good time to mention that!) She was adamant, however. She wanted us out. Wedgie is 18 years old, but it pays to play it safe when it is your parents' house. So he was stuck between two Jeddi Knights and a hard place.
So, from a combination of rising heat from Mrs. Antilees and the food supply in our paper bags growing thin...we decided to call it quits and face whatever darkness waited for us at home.
The women weren't as surprised to see us as I had expected. But you know why... Thankfully, Asoka is not as much of a brat as she used to be. Having her staying at our house isn't that bad -- especially since she communicated a desire to go back to the Jeddi Temple Dorms soon...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Yep. You guessed it! While Luke and I were working out a deal on Friday, Hon came through the house yelling my name so that he could figure out where my Xbox was. He asked what we were talking about and Luke blabbed it all! I couldn't figure out why because Luke has already mentioned how bbrewgleuitag Hon can get. It was probably because Luke was unhappy about the deal I was trying to push. I had told him that I would make him do some community service if he didn't let me go. He countered with the fact that he was an adult. 18 years old! That he could make his own decisions. I had then said, "OK mister ADULT. How would you like for us to stop paying your gas bills?"
That made him stop and think. I was about to win when Hon came through. Now I have a fired smuggler on my hands as well as a spoiled 18 year old brat! I'm just hoping Wedgie (Wedge Antilees) has lots of chips so I can bury my irritation in a bag of Cheese Flips!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
"Tomorrow I will not be able to write an entry unless I bring you (dear diary) along. I am planning on ddienggenikial dhg wiig bwlkkui" (unreadable part). "Why am I planning on sleeping in Wedgie's treehouse? Because Asoka is gjgrutleemumfal..." (messy again) "and you know how bossy she is to me. Even though I'm 18, she still borrows my ipod and says that I should share more often. That is soooo xrehttttljmrooflie! Anyway, I hope Hon and/or dad don't find out and decide to tag along. You know how bbrewgleuitag they can be!"
Humph! Hiding out at Wedgie's to protect himself from Asoka's evil clutches...and not telling his tender and wonderful father about it just because I sometimes get bbrewgleuitag! I don't even know what that means! But whatever it means, I am never...uh THAT!
Anyway, I'll try to force Luke to let me in on the deal. But I'll have to keep it hush hush because Luke was very accurate in his description of Hon. You know how bbrewgleuitag he does get!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Well, the Solos arrived today. As I said previously, I love Lea, but I just didn't want bossy Hon acting like this home was his own.
Well, life is humming along. I am continuing my community service project today. (Why do people insist on leaving half of a Super Burger in their take-out boxes that they have to leave on the side of the road?) I'm getting tired of cleaning the road anyway. People must think I'm a convict or something...maybe I should get a haircut.
Padmae said something today that worried me. She said that she thinks my Padiwan, Asoka should spend more time around me. She believes it would be beneficial for both of us. I would learn more manners and Asoka would learn...well, Asoka would learn how not to act...
I don't know about this, but I don't care much for the idea of that bottle rocket having a sleep over over here - indefinitely!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The only (two) dark clouds that show up on the horizon are the following: Luke is going back to the Space Academy tomorrow. He will continue to commute from our house there...but we'll miss him during the day!
The 2nd dark cloud is some news (could be a rumor, but Padmae normally doesn't gossip...) that I heard yesterday. Padmae said that Lea told her that Hon lost his job at Smuggling Enterprises. (I think that name has an intended pun as the company sometimes does transport starships) He said that they were downsizing their business and he got laid off! Padmae also asked me what I thought about letting them stay with us until they got back on their own two (four if you ask me) feet. I was playing Xbox at the time and said, "Sure honey, do what seems best..."
I mean, sure I love Lea... But Hon is a scoundrel as well as a boss. I don't know what will happen between him and Padmae...and he'd BETTER not touch my Xbox!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Well...I have, for the past three days, been doing community service. Cleaning roadsides...planting flowers on the median...visiting the elderly in nursing homes...all for free! It's VOLUNTEER work!!! By the sweat of my brow and the ache of my legs I have done all of this work for man/alienkind.
Master Obi-Won said that I would have a good feeling inside...but the only inner emotion I have is that of hunger because I just got back from my 4th time on the freeway medians of Nabu.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Anyway...now you know why I'm so distracted. I'll try to keep telling you about my life. Truth be told, nothing much has happened around here...exceeeept...Master Yodu did mention something over the weekend about Master Obi-Won and himself talking about my need for more opportunities to better man/alien-kind. I don't know why but I'm not too enthused...
Friday, January 1, 2010
We finally encouraged him to turn it down to 1 and a half...
Anyway, with the new year, I have a favor to ask all you fans. Could you please write the titles of your top five favorite posts of 2009 as a comment on this post? That way I can compile all of your results, average it out, and put the final results on my for the next year.
Oh, I almost forgot; you can also write your favorite titles as a comment or a discussion on my Facebook fan page.
Thanks in advance for helping me out, and....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!