Monday, September 13, 2010

New Plan

Lately I have been counseling Kid-fisto to use the direct approach: buy Luminarah flowers.  But this time, I'm going to try the smooth approach, since that is far more sophisticated (and Luminarah is all tired of flowers with weird bits of poetry on them.)  The smooth approach is managing to get Luminarah in danger and having Kid-fisto save her!  I consider it completely brilliant!  So yesterday I went to the Sithe Superstore and I bought a couple of refurbished battle droids.  They cost me a fortune but maybe Kid-fisto won't be too hard on them and I can put them in my room or something.  Anyway, later on in the day, Luminarah was going on her daily walk in the park.  I was hiding in the bushes.  I turned on my droids and let them go.  I had made sure that Luminarah did not have a lightsaber on before I did so.  The droids began shooting their stun guns at her and here came Kid-fisto swinging on a rope like Tarzan.  He let go at the wrong moment and went flying into the midst of the droids.  While he was untangling himself (and getting stunned all over the place) Luminarah came in with her umbrella, wielding it like a lightsaber, and knocked those battle droids silly!  Kid-fisto went home a defeated (and numb) man.  I guess I can still recycle the remains of those droids...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Darth Sideous Gets Involved

He would, wouldn't he?  He somehow heard about Kid-fisto's love of Luminarah and we found out that he wants Kid to get married too.  He must have an amazing brain!  (Or that spy droid I saw yesterday may have something to do with it...)  Anyway, he has ulterior motives for his desire that Luminarah marry Kid-fisto.  Luminarah is a dangerous jeddi to the sithe and their droids.  I guess he figures that if she marries, she would become soppy.  I don't know how much truth there is in this, but regardless, he is now officially involved.
Darth Hideous, his uncle who owns that movie production company, came up with some disgusting poetry and they sent her some flowers under Kid-fisto's name.  The poetry went like this, "I think you are awesome, I hope our love will blossom."
Bleah.  They couldn't do better than that?  Anyway, that was another bouquet that went into the trash...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Everbody Loves Flowers!

Well, as you know, Kid-Fisto wants me...okay, LET me counsel him in his love affair with Luminarah.  Unfortunately, this is unrequited love.  Luminarah doesn't seem to notice that he exists!  Don't worry, the old Anikin charm will fall into place to help Kiddo!  I suggested that he buy her flowers.  He thought it was a good idea.  So yesterday, we sent her a bunch of daffodils with a note: "From a secret friend you don't know you got, Luminarah, I like you a lot!"
That bit of beautiful poetry was my doing.  Maybe I should become a poet!
Kid-Fisto wasn't too excited about it, but I told him that the poetry would just hit the spot!  I didn't know how much...I saw Luminarah throw them in the garbage later and mumble something like, "It must be a prank."  Women do react strangely to charm sometimes...

Monday, September 6, 2010

It Fits Me, I Must Say

Well, we're back!  That was an exciting vacation!  Already things are getting hectic back here!
As you know, Kid-Fisto has a crush on Luminarah.  Well, Ki-Adi-Mundee has decided that it is a hopeless case.  (One of the things Mr. Lucas goofed on in making the movies was that Jeddi are not forbidden to marry, they are just not encouraged to as it normally doesn't work out.  Jeddi tend to be workaholics.)  Ki-Adi-Mundee gave up Kid because Luminarah is a serious Jeddi with no intention of living the rest of her life with a man...especially if he is Kid-Fisto; the poor guy isn't overly bright.
Anyway, a person with my charm has this kinda thing down.  I have now taken the job of counseling him.  Wish me luck!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Busy Vacation so far

We got here late Tuesday morning.  I know, I know.  That means it took us a total of 18 hours to get to the beach.  A normally 3 hour trip (by speeder) we took 6 TIMES that amount because of Hon!
Okay...let me elaborate.  The whole crew of us guys started a little late because Obi-Won suggested that we go to Jeddi Mart before we started.  He said that he forgot his umbrella and the girls would look pretty silly if a hurricane came through while we were there and they didn't have umbrellas!
I didn't mention that umbrellas wouldn't be a very sturdy protection against hurricanes, so we humored him.  Then, we got started.  Everything was going dandy until we got to this fork in the road.  (Don't make a joke about picking it up...Master Quigone wore that one out...)
Hon had Wendoogled it and he said that we should take a left.  I said that that was impossible because my GPS said we needed to go right!  He was adamant, but I, being the driver, made the executive decision and went right.
Of course, we got lost.  I kept trying to follow my GPS but I think the poor deary was lost!  She had no idea where she was going!  (I think I may need to get that thing repaired!)  Anyway, I kept saying we should have taken a left and I kept retorting sarcastic things in return.  Then Master Obi-Won called out, "Dinner time!"
We went through the drive thru of a McDukoo's (don't tell Wendu) and continued to drive.
Hon asked if I would give him a try at driving.  I asked if he thought he knew more than a seasoned Jeddi.  He said, "Just gimme the wheel!"  So while we were switching places Chewy spilled his Diet Jawa Juice because of Hon climbing over him.  (Don't tell Wendu that either.  These are the Jeddi buses.  I'll have to get it steam cleaned.)
We drove and drove around and then we finally decided to go back to the fork and start by going left.
It looked like we were going the right way when Obi-Won noticed that we were passing the McDukoo's we had stopped at before.  He called out, "Breakfast time everybody!"  (I think the owner of that franchise was delighted at the influx of business!)  We ordered Chewy water this time.
We got back on the road and finally arrived at the beach at 10:00 AM.  I had to rest for a couple of days.  I thought vacations were supposed to be restful!  But thanks to Master Quigone's jokes about forks, my bad GPS, Hon for a navigator, Obi-Won with a constantly increasing appetite, and a Wookee with bad hands, I have had a very eventful "vacation" already!  The moral of the story is: never carpool with this many people...