About to get beat!

I'm about to go to play football against the Sithes.  Since our team got organized, we probably won't get destroyed.  But we will most probably be creamed!  Our fattening diet has been moving and we are getting rounder, but it's going slow.  Well, here goes nothing!

A Hairy Dilemma

Well, now that Hon has a job, he and Lea can move out again.  They are going to rent an apartment in the neighborhood.  Remember before they got married, I mentioned that Chewy and Crunchy were going to be their servants?  Well, now they are moving out and Padmae offered to hire Chewy and Crunchy for them again.  (You know how rich we are!)  Anyway, when they hired the two walking carpets, Chewy mentioned that a cousin of theirs was looking for work.  Lea said she would have to think about that.  They asked us and Padmae said, "Sure, have all the money you need for this."  Butlers are very important to Padmae.
The only problem is that those two are in a small apartment during the day with three, ginormous wookees!  I feel for my poor daughter!

Oh, BTW: Luke finally paid for the repairs to my ship.  He will buy his new one as soon as he can save up for it.

Argyle Socks and a Polka Dotted Tie!

Well, hahaha!  This is just too funny! Do you guys remember when Hon lost his job with Smuggler's Inc?  Well, he has been playing on their football team as a volunteer lately, but he really needs a job that pays (he's been eating me out of fudge and home lately!)
But, guess what?  A traveling circus came to town and he filled out an application.  He put down that he wanted to be a ringleader, but since he wore argyle socks, a plaid business suit, and a polka dotted tie, the manager told him he would be perfect for a clown!  He didn't want to leave Lea, but the Circus said that they would be in town till June because of all the business they were getting and that he could work with them until they moved out.
You have to understand, ever since 2 years old, Hon has wanted to be a clown.  But his personality, shall we say, doesn't fit the part?  He's taking a crash course for juggling and has already thrown a couple of hammers into my TV set.  I'm about to go to Jeddi Mart to buy a new one and then come back home and try to talk him into learning to juggle balls first...
This will be very entertaining!  You can be sure I will buy tickets to every show from here till June!  Pass the popcorn!

Not Walloped too Bad...

Saturday's game didn't go perfectly, but we don't have much to complain about.  We haven't really gained any weight and/or built muscles yet.  So 16 to 7 wasn't too bad!  We ACTUALLY GOT AN ENDZONE!  We are overjoyed.  I have been reading up on muscle building activities and I think I will be a good Dieting Coach.

Oh, by the way: Ki-Adi-Mundee finally has a helmet.  Master Obi-Won (who is now the official Head Uniform Manager) went to AskYoduh.com and found a family owned store that sold all sorts of sport helmets for aliens of the Ki-Adi-Mundee species.  Their store was called Helmets for Big Heads.  When Master Obi-Won told me about his new purchase, he suggested I buy one.  Very funny...

Anikin's Get Fat Instantly Formula

Uh oh.  I'm expected to have the Jeddi Football team ready soon!  I consider myself a pro at getting fat quickly.  I have a certain formula for doing it.  I call it Anikin's Get Fat Instantly Formula.  It has three simple steps: eat, eat and don't exercise.  The only problem is that I have to help them retain their strength while getting...ah larger.  I went to a health web site yesterday and had a live chat with a professional doctor.  I explained my problem and he said (among other things which I won't print here) that I was crazy and that if we wanted a good football team we should talk to Drew Brees.  I'm not sure who he is, but I think I heard that he won the superbowl on earth recently.  I sarcastically thanked the doctor and told him that Drew Brees was lightyears away.  I don't think that chat ended very well.  He already thought I was nuts...
Anyway, I have to have the team ready soon, like I say.  AND BY SATURDAY!!!  We are playing the Smugglers/Bounty Hunters on Saturday (they really should split into two teams or change their name.)  So, that being said, any hints or tips would be much appreciated!  To bad Drew Brees doesn't read my blog...

They're Joking...Right?

The Jeddi held a council yesterday.  All the council members were present (naturally) plus all the football players who aren't council members.  This included Luke and Briingluy Aft.  Master Wendu, being the chairman and all, spoke first.  Here my transcription of this event:

Wendu: Dear Council members...and Luke and Briingluy.  I don't know if you have noticed but our football team has not been doing as well as we should like.  I mean, first of all, the Sithe's beat us 78 to 0 and the Gunguns beat us 41 to 3.  (I think the reason we did so well on the last game was because we happened to be organized...)  Anyway, I think we need new management.  Why?  Well because -

Yoduh: [mumbles something unintelligible frowning at the floor]

Wendu: Master Yoduh, if you have something to add please share it with the rest of the cla - er, council.

[Master Yoduh happened to be sitting next to Master Wendu and he whispered something to Master Wendu.  Master Wendu looked up and with an embarrassed glance around him, continued.]

Wendu: Uuhhh, right, not that the old management (namely our beloved coach) has not been doing his best.  And our Head Uniform Manager (that would be you Anikin) has been doing admirably well considering the - ah, er...obstacles that were in his path.  But, what I mean to say is that we need an EXTRA manager.  Or rather, a different kind of coach while keeping Master Yoduh as our coordinator for the games.  In other words, we need a drastic change in our plans.  Master Obi-Won...

Obi-Won: Thank you master Wendu.  Well, as you know...

[I didn't know, but then, nobody tells me anything... anyway, back to Master Obi-Won]

...Master Wendu, Master Yoduh and I have been talking a lot lately and what this team needs is a change in our eating habits...

[you don't know how many times he's had this lecture with me, but it was always about me needing to "stop the cookie intake"]

We need to go on a...well, a....

Yoduh: Diet Fattening!

Obi-Won: Yes, thank you Master Yoduh, a fattening diet.  That way we can gain the weight we need to be able to win some football games.  So we need a Dieting Coach to train us in gaining weight.  But, the Dieting Coach needs to be able to train us to retain our muscle while gaining some weight.  And, Anikin, the council has elected you...since you tend to be good at gaining weight.  I will take over the Head Uniform Manager...Master Yoduh and Master Wendu unanimously voted me in for that [he glared] but I think that over all, this team will begin to improve!

I was in a trance.  Could this be really happening to me?  Could I really have the wish of my life and actually be allowed and even ENCOURAGED to gain weight?  I smiled, but then caught myself.  This could be another practical joke.  I looked at their faces carefully for a glimmer of a smile.  But no, they were SERIOUS.  Well, I'm going to have to read up on the muscle building activities...but in the weight gaining arena, I consider myself an experienced ace.  Bring on the fudge!

Creamed. Again.

We played football against the Gunguns on Saturday.  Boy did they cream us!  That is why I haven't written in a while.  I am just now getting all my bruises healed and have, this morning, been able to limp over to the computer to write for all you faithful readers.  Okay...it's not all that bad.  But those Gunguns are still pretty feisty.  First of all, they are tall, so no interceptions were made.  Second, they are very strong, so no points were made except one field goal.  They beat us 41 to 3.  Ouch. 
In football news, the bounty hunters are now accepting team members from the smuggler arena as well.  So that means that my son in law, Hon Solo will be part of that team.  Oh no!  That means that, unless Chewy isn't interested (he just bought a new sports-ship and he washes it every weekend), he will be on their team.  I don't know how we will start to win some games this season!  We really need a drastic change.......somewhere!