Angry Sithes

I know it sounds redundant, but it's true!  Ever since Padmae stopped the Jeddi football team last week (thus stopping the whole SWFL [Star Wars Football League]), we have been noticing an increase in heat from the dark side of the galaxy.  We have also been receiving threatening letters.  We find them on the cafeteria counter or the toilet seat in the Jeddi temple bathrooms.  They are all one liners that say things like,
"You had a lot of gall
to gain weight and stop football."
or
"You'd better beware
when you don't play fair."
or (my favorite)
"Your fat will make chances slim
of ever eating chocolate again."

Anyway, we all know who's sending them -- and I have an idea that darth Sideous's uncle (Darth Hideous) is writing them...I mean, did you see that bad rhyming?  But the icing on the cake was applied when yesterday we received a letter with "Darth Sideous, 18 Dark Side Way, Upper floor, Death Star 33986" on the return address label.  It contained a short and peppy note.  It read as the following:
Dear Jeddi Council (and any other interested parties),
We are going to surprise attack you on Wednesday, April 15th 2010.  You'd better be ready.
Since this is a manly brawl and not a childish "to-the-death" fight (and on account of the fact that we don't want to lose any Sithes) we will fight with taser swords.  Be ready.
Worst Regards,
Darth Sideous

We sent a letter back that asked if perhaps Padmae could fight them...since she was the one who stopped the football team.  We didn't receive a reply.  I think they were pretty sure that Padmae would cream them all.  So we are fighting the Sithes.  I mean, REALLY fighting them.  Not just playing football against them.  We have posted Jeddi at all the entrances and have armed every person (even the janitor) with a lightsaber (er....taser sword...).  This will be fun!